Portrait of a Godly Wife, Part 1

I have been reading a lot on who a Godly wife is. It is my desire to be one and to model that for my daughter, so I thought it would be a good idea to start a series on being a Godly wife as the lord works on my heart and changes it.  Please read on and feel free to comment and share revelations on who a Godly wife is and how God is working in your life in that regard.

Although there is a portrait in the bible of who a godly woman is (Prov. 31) I still wasn't sure who a Godly wife should be. Going in, I had several things going against me, first my expectations of who my husband should be and second, who I am as a wife. These two roles are influenced by the husband and wife roles I modeled as a child. If you were to ask me this a year ago, I would have denied that my parent's relationship influenced mine in anyway. Truth is it did, whether I acknowledge it or not. I am like my mother in many ways, strong, ambitious and hardworking. That coupled with my own controlling, perfectionist personality can be a lot to handle.

I am a take charge, get it done kind of person. I usually have a solution to a problem before I bring it up for discussion. On top of that I grew up in a home where my mother was the spiritual head of the home and she raised me accordingly. Fast forward to marriage life and I take the reigns in my own marriage in subtle ways, under the guise of  'helping'. In my mind, my way was better, so were my ideas and my expectations were reasonable.

All I did was focus on what my husband was either not doing my way or not doing at all. He did the dishes wrong so that they still had stains on them, he didn't pick his clothes up right away or wipe off the counter immediately when he spilled something. The list of things I found to gripe about is endless. This led to nagging and making him feel like he could never do anything right. I know what you are thinking, what a terrible wife! You are right in that assertion, it was my sin and I had to confess it and ask for forgiveness. It is so easy to fall into cursing him instead of blessing him though.

You may be thinking, isn't cursing him a bit much? No, not really when we consider some of the things we say about our husbands. Any sentence that begins with "You never.. " Or "You always..." and ends in negativity is a curse. I had to pray and release my husband of all the curses I had spoken into his life and bless him instead. I try to bless him daily. I say " my husband in a strong man of God and I bless him to come into better knowledge of who God is", "my husband is a loving father and a hardworking provider for our family". Initially it felt weird saying some of the blessings because some of them did not feel true, but what happened was, it opened a gateway of prayer for my husband.

If I had relied on my feelings alone, I would not have been able to pray for my husband as I should. Blessing him, opened my eyes to how God sees him. It also opened my eyes to who God truly wanted me to be in his life. I am to be his helpmate, a helper, made to be suitable for him. (Gen 2:18)

Abide With Me

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide;
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.


This past Tuesday was my angel baby Natalie's first birthday. I had been dreading it since the beginning of the year, I knew it would be a hard day and I was prepared to be left in shambles by the day's end. However God's infinite grace upheld me. Amidst text messages, calls and emails I was surrounded by so much love from my friends and family. I am so thankful to God who used everyone around me to make that day bearable.


We decided to have a picnic to celebrate her birthday. I made her a cake and since Hailey insisted it was her birthday too, I made her one as well. My Hailey-Angel gave me all the love my heart and empty arms were aching for. With her "I love you mama" and "don't cry mommy" she soothed my pain.  My husband was ready to catch me should I fall that day, watching me ever so attentively and lovingly. A friend blessed me with a painting of my angel so I would have an image of her that day. Truly, I am blessed. God himself held me that day and had his angels flank me on all sides.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness;
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.


I did not think I would make it through that day, but here I sit to tell it all. With a heart of thankfulness to my savior who heard my humble cry and answered me in a mighty way that only he can. Thank you lord for your undeserving love and grace that you bestow on me.


I need Thy presence every passing hour;
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s pow’r?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me

Simple but hard

My husband and I watched a movie recently that really made an impact on me. One thing that stood out is a quote from the movie. "Following God is simple, God loves you completely and so you must love others. God sacrificed for you so you must sacrifice everything". Loving others seems easy enough but sacrificing everything is where we often trip up. We are so fleshly selfish that it goes against our very basic flesh to sacrifice for others. If you do not think you are a selfish in the flesh, take a moment to think about one day in your life and think about all the thoughts you have and all the things you do geared towards getting what you want.

Many of us live in a "me" world, and it is not necessarily stepping on others to get what we want, it is just that we want what we want, our desires, dreams etc. That is the me world we live in. We often say, what is wrong with me working hard to get what I want? The immediate answer by the world's standard would be, nothing. However, this life is not our own, our purpose is not to fulfill all our desires. It is to serve our heavenly father in whatever he calls us to. I know this is a hard thing in our day when we have turned God into a slot machine.  By loving, we do not live for ourselves but others, when we truly love others as Christ loves the church, our love becomes sacrificial. We know the "love verse" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) by rote but we do not really live it. It is not just a verse for our partners, it is a verse for all people.  We cannot live it out, in and of our selves, but as we allow Christ to live through us it becomes a reality. He is truly the vine and we the branches, apart from him, we cannot live.

So can I truly love others in a sacrificial way? Yes by dying daily to the self. The beautiful thing is that God's grace is ever so sufficient. Oh how he loves us! I am so glad that when he died on that fateful day, my past, present and future were before him. He saw it all and still chose to die in my place, what a mighty and loving God we serve! He is eternally good and he love me this much, how can I then stumble in this life? I cannot for he is eternally with me. Psalm 139, 1-18.